Kisses in Poetry
by PaTchoRa
Summary: EDITED: Wherever you go, my heart will there be... For goodbyes are not meant for you and me.


PLEASE, I DO **NOT **OWN SOME LINES OF THIS POEM.

_So, this is already edited. Well, not really. -_- I just added some details which I shouldn't have missed._ :d

Some of the lines came from the poem entitled Heather. I was just the one who revised it and collaged it with my own lines and tada! I made a story.

Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this to daa3fan and The Meepsta for being a great chat mate and friend, and to my new FFN friends in FB for their warm welcome.

**KISSES IN POETRY**: I may not be able to express myself fully to you... But I just want you to know how much I truly loved you so… R&R

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><p><em>~ ("v") ~<em>

**KiSsEs In PoEtRy**

_~ ("v") ~_

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><p>"<em>Goodbyes are not meant for you and me. Wherever you go, my heart will there be"<em>

* * *

><p>.<p>

I was lonely, sad and blue

Until the day came when I met you

You came into my life like winds of change

And the next thing I knew, I felt kinda strange.

How did this happen?

I do not know

But this feeling I have now scares me so.

It was one Monday morning and class 2-B was just the same as always. The usual fan girls would crowd around the infamous Natsume Hyuuga, hoping to hug him and touch him and you get what I mean. That was the scene almost all the time, every morning with no fail. Their teacher Narumi Anjo doesn't care after all. He rarely even attends his class for Homeroom. So, it was a shock… when this day, the door opened and he suddenly came.

"Good morning everyone," his usual speech went.

"Today, you will have a new classmate. So, please come in and introduce yourself."

From there, a girl with auburn locks came inside the messed up room. She stood in front of everyone. Her face puzzled, somewhat trying to analyze why hungry-looking girls were crowding over a certain area. She couldn't see the reason why. After all, the crimson-eyed lad was already left buried underneath the fallen crowd.

"Hi, I'm Mikan Sakura. I'm pleased to meet you," she said as she bowed down, trying her best to give the proper impressions and greeting. But none paid attention.

"All of you who are not in their seats this very instant will get detention for the whole school year," Narumi yelled, feeling pissed. Well, that's what you get when you make the great Narumi Anjo pissed.

Immediately after hearing this, everyone scrambled back to their seats – afraid to be caught for detention. Mikan sweat dropped. But from there, it also gave her the chance to look straight into the crimson eyes of the lad with jet-black hair.

He looked at her hazel pools too. Now, they were left into what seemed like a staring contest – as if the two already have a certain connection with the other.

"Okay, any questions for Mikan Sakura?" Narumi asked his students, breaking her trance as well as the others.

No one raised their hands.

"Very well then, her partner shall be Natsume Hyuuga," he further went on, having that devious glint in his eyes.

.

When Narumi had left the class alone once again, all eyes were already on her. Some tried to glare. Others drooled. Then the rest just looked at her normally, as if she's just nothing. She gulped as she tried to calm and encourage herself that everything's going to be fine. Slowly, her two feet start to take a step forward – gradually, until she finally found herself standing in front of the mysterious boy.

"Can I sit here?" she asked, hesitant.

Everyone snickered. They were determined he'd shoo her out. But of course, they thought wrong.

"Whatever," he just said, placing his chin atop his open palm.

"Thank you," she replied with a smile, catching the infamous Natsume Hyuuga… off-guard.

I'm just a lonely young boy who knew not of

The terms called love and smile and soft

But you changed all that, my philosophies and all.

And told me there's more than just the word termed 'fall.'

A year has passed and everything began to change.

"Natsume!" one brunette yelled as she waved her hands before she broke into a run.

The raven-haired tried to care less. Well, what else would be new? But somehow, she always found other ways to break the imaginary barrier he created for himself. She always knew how to catch him off-guard even with the warmth her simple smiles bring. She always knew how to get him to talk to her. She always knew how to make the great Natsume Hyuuga… stutter in nervousness.

"What?" he asked with his emotionless voice.

"I just wanted to give you this," she replied as she handled him a box of chocolates.

"It isn't Valentine's Day little girl," he would tease her.

"I know," she replied, "But please do accept it."

Left with no choice, he accepted the box wrapped in pink and red that she had offered.

_How gay! _He thought for himself.

Just when he was about to walk away, Mikan pulled him and kissed his cheeks – turning him beet red like a tomato.

"Happy friendship anniversary Natsume!" she uttered before finally running away.

.

.

There's nothing in this world that can express my love

You're as beautiful as an angel and as pure as a dove.

When we were near, my knees felt weak

Then there were no words left to speak

It was finally Valentine's Day of their senior years.

Both Mikan and Natsume had finally grown into fine young teenagers. Both already had their own suitors. Both already had their own type of career to pursue. He's going to be a doctor while she's going to take up engineering. That was their plans after they graduate. Well, you could actually say Mikan had gotten matured. She isn't the loud-mouthed girl everyone used to know her for. She can now practically handle her own problems herself.

Natsume could only looked at her grow from an ugly duck to a beautiful swan from afar. She was now the center of every boy's attention. And unknowingly, it totally annoyed him and bugged him off. He doesn't even know the real reasons why. That's just how he felt. Does it really have to have an explanation?

"N, Natsume," a voice spoke to him.

He was currently under the Sakura tree, slacking his ass out when he sensed someone's presence. He started to open his eyes… only to meet those same hazel orbs he had always yearned for.

"I, um, I, I wanted to give you this," she said, stuttering.

In her hands was a white envelope. But he could say it wasn't just an ordinary envelope. It was something special but indescribable.

He stood up from his lying position before he tried to reach out the small white package. When it was already in his hands, he started to read it mentally. The brunette still stood beside him, madly blushing.

When he had finished it, he folded the white paper back to its previous creases before placing it back in the same white envelope.

"..."

Mikan waited for his answers but he never gave any… besides a smirk.

Felt embarrassed and hurt, "um… I, I think I, I should go then, huh?" she said.

But even before she could move and run, "you aren't going to wait for my answer?" he asked her, making her stop in her tracks.

He started nearing her. He placed his hands on her shoulders before turning her around. He was pained once again when he saw her cry. He never knew that would make her cry.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he placed his thumbs in her face to wipe it all away.

"Nothing," she answered her.

"Look, can we skip with the drama already? What's your answer?" she questioned, trying to sound tough and all.

"You don't have to be this demanding and all, you know," he replied, testing her patience.

"I am not-"

But even before she could finish her sentence, her blood red lips were claimed with his. He begged for full entry and she just let him without protests.

.

.

.

"That's my answer," he said when they finally broke apart minutes after.

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><p><strong>-Graduation Day finally came-<strong>

It was a shock that even graduation, Natsume wasn't there.

Okay, to tell you the truth, Natsume was always absent these last few days. Mikan had gotten worried for that boy. No calls. No messages. Nothing. And somehow, she started to doubt the trust she and he promised back then. Somehow, she started to doubt his loyalty – especially with all the rumors circulating about him and this unknown girl he was found with outside the campus.

But not this day and not now, for once she doesn't want to worry about him. This was her day – her graduation day and she just can't let one raven-haired lad ruin this day of hers.

So with her graduation toga and diploma in hand, she went down the stairs with pride in every step she took. But that was before… she heard whispers and commotions from the back.

Curiosity eating her up, she turned around only to see Natsume Hyuuga… with another girl in hand.

**o**

"No calls! No messages! What do you think of me Natsume – a trash?" she asked, crying her eyes out.

They were now left alone on one of the isolated corners of the school. The commencement had ended minutes ago. Well, you probably knew right what they were all talking about? Yup, it was her – the girl with raven hair and violet orbs he was with moments ago.

"I'm sorry Mikan," he answered her. His voice showed no hints of emotion.

"Since when has it been, Natsume?" she mustered all her courage and asked.

"Even before you confessed back in the Sakura tree-"

_SLAP!_

"I thought I trusted you!" she yelled as she tried to wipe the tears that cascaded down her fair cheeks. She tried to be strong - she needed to be strong.

"But believe me Mikan, I love you! If you'll just give me some time to fix all this mess," Natsume tried to reason out. His face was as still as a rock but his voice was pleading, filled with sadness and anguish - asking her to believe him. But Mikan did nowhere near believe his made up stories. He had proved it false when he made the scene minutes ago - going out with another girl, not to mention during graduation.

"Don't expect me to believe your lies Natsume! I am so sick of it!" she yelled.

"If you'd just let me explain-"

"I hate you!" she further went on, not wanting to hear more of his petty excuses.

"..." When he saw her retreat, he just stood there and did nothing. He tried to explain his part but she wouldn't listen. So he stopped there. He knew that maybe it was best to end it like this anyway.

Your words stabbed my heart like hundreds of knives

But I know that I'll survive

I just want you to forget about me

And all the things we had probably been

You've walked through this journey with motives in mind

And I don't want to hinder you and be left behind

I know sooner or later we'd both be kept apart

It has been inevitable right from the start.

**-Years after-**

Years after and Mikan Sakura was no longer the Mikan Sakura everyone knew. She is now THE MIKAN SAKURA, a renowned engineer and businesswoman throughout the country. You could actually say what a change she had gone through after their, you know, break up. She had undergone years training abroad and is now back in Japan to offer her services.

It was this one rainy Tuesday evening. She was about to head home after she had an interview with the press. But while she was driving her new car, she saw a familiar raven-haired girl she once remembered as _that _girl. Obscurely, she followed her – driving slowly beside her, wanting her to know she was no longer the Mikan Sakura they, including Natsume, once knew. That she had practically made it even without them.

Before she could even realize, the girl was walking towards a cemetery. Curious, she got out of her car and followed her. There, she saw her putting some flowers on top of a tomb. She went closer and there and then, she saw a photograph of him on top of it, together with all the precious things she had given her when they were still together. The girl with amethyst eyes saw her. Knowing that her cover was blown, Mikan walked over and asked her why this had happened.

She explained. They were not going out after all for she was Hotaru Imai, his cousin. He was suffering with cancer but he doesn't want Mikan to know. It wasn't known how he got it. It was just there. Nonetheless, he tried to be strong for her during those times he was still there - during those times they were still... together. _For he doesn't want her to know. He doesn't... _In his heart, he had always believed that she will make it someday like what she is now today. Having that thought, it gave him the hardest decision – let her go... For their sake, he has to.

For months, he stayed in the hospital – hoping that he would survive so he could go out and explain to her everything. But his was an impossible case. His condition was worse than what the doctors had imagined. _It was an impossible case._

"While I stayed up with him, he never failed to mention your name. How you would laugh over small matters and make him laugh too. Even when he died, the last person he mentioned and wanted to see was you. But that time, you already left for abroad. Anyway, he did gave me this," Hotaru said as she dug her hands onto her pockets to retrieve a crumpled white sheet.

"Sorry if it's crumpled. I always carry it with me, hoping that we'd meet someday by the road like this," she added before finally leaving.

Mikan was speechless after that. She didn't know what to do. More tears leaked out from her eyes.

Then slowly, she wiped it all away before opening the letter.

It was a poem, a poem that speaks about their life – from the first time they met up to the part where she said to him those words she now regret: _I hate you_. She could've just stayed with him for long and ask his reasons but she was too hurt. Thus, she was carried by her emotions.

_Natsume. _She whispered as she broke down and cried, her tears mixing up with the coldness of the rain.

_Natsume…_

I may not express myself fully to you

But I just want you to know

How much I truly loved you so.

The moment you have read this,

I may probably be gone

Left forgotten, wiped out – done!

But my heart is always alive, beating for you…

– honest, sincere for one and only you

I have loved you and always will be

Even though you can no longer see me

All those times, he had loved her and only her. But he couldn't bear to see her painful expression once she'll know more about his condition. So he hid it from her, kept the mysterious and cold façade he always wore when he's with people – just to let them be ignorant of the pain he felt.

He knew Mikan still has a life and he doesn't want to ruin that. He knew she can do a lot more things in life. And he doesn't want to be the hindrance of it. He doesn't want his illness be the only reason why she'd stop and dedicate all of her time to him – he knew that. Mikan was like an open book to him after all. Therefore, he had chosen to leave her. He had chosen to lie. Because for him, it's painful to see her cry for him and experience pain than for him to see himself cry.

But he doesn't consider his sickness, his death as the end. He may be physically gone but his heart was always with her – continuously beating for only her.

Slowly, her body fell down on the soaked ground. Her tears fell uncontrollably. It was more than what she can bear. If only she was given the time to rewind everything, she would take no chance to hesitate to do just that. She just sat there. The rain falling down on her. If she was able to give him even a single chance that time... but she didn't and it's too late now. Totally too late.

_"But believe me, Mikan, I love you!"_ She remembered his words.

_I love you... _She stayed stationary in her place, clutching the letter near her drenched chest.

..._Natsume._

_._

_._

_And I'm sorry. _She knew it wasn't enough. Still she tried to whisper, hoping the wind would carry it to the place where he's at. It would be quite unbelievable but she knew it was true that he's gone. But like what he said, he was always there... alive... _in her heart._

This isn't the end.

.

Wherever you go, my heart will there be

For goodbyes are not meant for you and me

.

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><p>Happy Summer to all! :))<p> 


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